I\'m fucked and I don\'t give a shit
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I was at a friends picnic and I thought the hot girl sitting across the picnic table from me was playing footsie. Then the dog came out from under the table, and i realized who I was playing with. imfkd

#6
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Aug 14, 2010 02:09 PM - Love - by Joe

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I was shaving my beard and my electric razor broke, and I didn't have any regular razors in my house. So I had to go to the store with a beard on only half my face. imfkd

#9
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Aug 14, 2010 02:22 PM - Beauty - by Mike

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My bf was complaining I didn't kiss him enough, so I replied well u don't kiss me, but the real reason is he got some real bad breath sometimes, and now he won't stop kissing me. imfkd

#4
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Aug 14, 2010 02:01 PM - Love - by Rachel

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When my husband came home from work I was wearing nothing but a new teddy, and he told me to get him a beer, then he watched some tv. imfkd

#7
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Aug 14, 2010 02:22 PM - Sex - by Gina

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I cooked some sausage for lunch. Then after I ate I saw it expired 2 months ago. imfkd

#1
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Aug 14, 2010 10:08 AM - Health - by Steve

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I IM'd my girlfriend on Facebook chat. Just playing around I said "what's up slut, I'm pissing that punanny". It wasn't my GF, her dad was using her account. imfkd

#2
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Aug 14, 2010 10:08 AM - Love - by Dave

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My boyfriend took me horseback riding for the first time. My horse got in front of his, and his horse didn't like that. So his horse turned around and went to bite my horse, but bit my leg instead. I now have a ginormous bruise that hurts like hell. imfkd

#3
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Aug 14, 2010 10:08 AM - Other - by Jen

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I told my friend I want to get lypo to lose some weight, and my one friend replied why, you can't get it done on your face. imfkd

#5
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Aug 14, 2010 02:04 PM - Friends - by Ginger

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I walked into the kitchen in a new skirt all proud because I was dieting and lost 20 pounds, but my grandmom said "u have to diet better and lose that muffin top". imfkd

#8
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Aug 14, 2010 02:17 PM - Health - by Heather

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I was hanging with friends driving my car and saw this lady standing next to a broken down car. I thought I would help by offering her a ride. But it wasn't her car, she was a hooker. imfkd

#10
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I agree, you are screwed (1) - You deserved that one (0)

Oct 1, 2010 08:59 AM - Other - by RayJay

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